Christmas Jokes

(selected from this website.)

Q. What do you get if you cross Santa with a detective?
A. Santa Clues!

Q. What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
A. Its Christmas, Eve.

Q. Why does Santa Claus like to work in the garden?
A. Because he likes to hoe, hoe, hoe!

Q. What happened when the snowwoman got angry at the snowman?
A. She gave him the cold shoulder.

Q. How do sheep say Merry Christmas in Mexico?
A. Fleece Navidad!

Q. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a shark?
A. Frost bite!

Q. What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmastime?
A. Sandy Claws!

Q. Why are Christmas trees such bad knitters?
A. They are always dropping their needles.

Q. What do you when if you cross an apple with a Christmas tree?
A. A pineapple.

Q. Why wasn’t the turkey hungry at Christmas time?
A. He was stuffed!

Q. Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney on Christmas Eve?
A. Because it soots him.

Q. What kind of ball doesn’t bounce?
A. A snowball!

Q. What’s the best thing to put into Christmas pie?
A. Your teeth!

Q. If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get?
A. Missletoe!

Q. What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
A. Claustrophobic.

Q. What’s white and goes up?
A. A confused snowflake!

Q. What do you call an old snowman?
A. Water!

Q. What goes ho-ho whoosh, ho-ho whoosh?
A. Santa caught in a revolving door!

Q. What goes “oh, oh, oh”?
A. Santa walking backwards!

Q. When does Christmas come before Thanksgiving?
A. In the dictionary!

Q. What do you have in December that’s not in any other month?
A. The letter D!

Q. Why is it always cold at Christmas?
A. Because it’s in Decemberrrr!

Q. What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
A. Can you smell carrot?

Q. How many presents can Santa fit in an empty sack?
A. Only one, after that it’s not empty anymore!

Q. How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizzas?
A. Deep and crisp and even!

Q. What do you get if Santa goes down the chimney when the fire is lit?
A. Crisp Cringle!

Q. What kind of candle burns longer, a red candle or a green candle?
A. Neither, candles always burn shorter!

Q. What often falls at the North Pole but never gets hurt?
A. Snow!

Q. What Christmas carol is a favorite of parents?
A. Silent Night!